“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”-Margaret Wolfe Hungerford
This is said all the time but it’s usually referring to a piece of art or architecture or something we are observing. In reality, it should be applied to how we view ourselves. Over the last few weeks, I’ve started, stopped, deleted and rewritten this article. Body image for me is a daily struggle depending on how I feel. Days like last Tuesday’s Town Council meeting, I felt fit, healthy and cute so I dawned an equally cute outfit that reflected how I felt which in turn gave me the confidence I needed to presenting the Town budget. By Friday, I was tired and struggling to motivate myself, so I wore sweats and didn’t bother to shower until that afternoon. Luckily, it was a work at home day😊
How we see ourselves can set the mood for the day, week, and year. For me, this bounces between where I was 20+ years ago, 5 years ago to yesterday. When I talk about body image, I’m not talking about the ever present signs of growing older (grey hair, maybe a few creases on the face.) I’m talking about how we feel about our bodies. In college, I often would think I was too thick, especially my gymnast thighs. Obsessively monitoring the scale and what size jeans I was wearing didn’t help. Then I gained the weight. At times, I could dress and conceal my reality and even convince myself that I hadn’t lost control of my health. Then there were the times that I couldn’t hide enough. Today, the struggle is still there. I look in the mirror and have to convince myself that I’m not where I once was. The shame of being overweight and unhealthy has left a permanent imprint on my mind. There are days I need to watch door cam video or just do a selfie to show myself that I have improved my health and made a significant change in my life.
So where does this body image issue come from? We all have some negative image issues. Some comes from society and the unrealistic expectations we place on ourselves. I think of Carrie Fischer in Return of the Jedi. All the boys gushed over the infamous outfit and many girls (at least me) wanted to be just like her. I would take my mom’s lingerie robe and tie it around my waist while wearing my Wonder Woman Underoos. Unintentionally, this created an image as to what we needed to look like. Some blame Barbie, but frankly, movies, magazines and in some cases adults in our lives are the ones that influence us the most. While we can point fingers all over, the fact is once the damage is done, it’s very difficult to change the wiring in our brains.
Knowing all of this, the question comes up: How can we change our mindset? A couple of my favorite new daily motivational reminders are “Your limit is You,” and “Build Your Mind, The Body Will Follow!” I believe in staying up on my goals, especially around fitness. However, we must train our minds first and foremost. Many of you probably are not into meditation, yoga, and finding your Zen, but it is true that the body will do what the mind believes. This is true with body image. We must train our brains to love our bodies and embrace what we see, not what we have drawn in our minds. Focus not just on your thoughts of where you aren’t but where you want to be and how far you’ve come. My amazing yoga instructor, Jamie, has said this and I read it again in the book “You are a Badass” by Jen Sincero, but we need to stop creating stories in our heads. Instead, of looking in the mirror and trying to create that mid-section roll that may or may not exist, look at yourself and say “Good morning BEAUTIFUL!”
I hope you are enjoying these blogs and stories and feel free to share your stories.
Have a wonderful week friends!
Comments